Hypochondriac

Hi! My name is Heather and I am a hypochondriac.

Or at least that is what my doctor is trying to make me. I went in for my $35 co-pay check-up and my OB-GYN could not find that cyst that I was talking about. She said that the lump that she felt was "text book perfect". I told her, that apparently I have been abnormal for the last 28 years because that lump was never there before. Of course she just looked at me as if I was crazy....

So the good news is Webmd was not correct in my diagnosis. The bad news, I have to pay another $35 co-pay next month for a my annual pap exam. **SIGH**

How was YOUR weekend?

I must say, 2008 has been the worst year I have had, yet. I have been through so much life-altering events that I am beginning to wear out. I am usually very open about my problems and concerns, but I have been faced with things that only God and I know about.

I am very discouraged. I must admit. These are the times when we as Christians are put through obstacles to test our faith. And yes, I know, that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, but all I am asking…can I please get a breather somewhere in between?

It’s always something. Lately, I found a lump in my genitals. I went to my ever faithful, WebMD to take the symptom checker test and I was informed that I might have cancer. Now, I know that everything these days gives you cancer, but I didn’t have other options. On Friday, I called my OB-GYN and requested an emergency appointment. When I told her what I found in the shower, the receptionist didn’t even give me the spiel about the next available appointment being in two weeks (ladies, I know you can relate). Instead, she instructed me to come in first thing Monday morning to get it looked at.

Great!! Now, I have my entire weekend to freak out about if I have cancer, going through a biopsy, and/or having to get this grape-sized cyst removed. SIGH

What do I do? I already feel like I am juggling so much on my plate. And it is so hard for me to tell anyone but God. I bet this was his plan, eh?

As an icing (cream cheese, please), I take my dog, Rommie to the vet for his scheduled vaccinations and they inform me that he has lyme disease. Are you serious? Now, I feel like I should be tested for lyme disease, as well. But I won’t…I am certain that I haven’t been bit by tick, but I do remember going through a phase where I was pulling ticks off Rommie after every walk. Now I feel like I have to punish him, by not taking him for a walk. Luckily, he hasn’t displayed any symptoms of a lyme disease carrier and for that matter, neither have I.

So I am prepared to answer the every faithful Monday morning question, “How was your weekend?” But if someone asks, they better be prepared for an earful. Because I am sure I will be updating this blog soon, as my weekend is not over and neither is this year.

I am so ready to end this year. Hopefully, 2009 has a great beginning ….

Just Say You Don't Know

Tonight, I called Sprint because I was trying to transfer my nephew from my line to my sister's line. (That's another blog...) Once I get a customer service representative on the line and verify that I am Heather G, I immediately tell her that my phone's battery is low so I want to give her all he information she needs from me before she calls my sister and completes the request.

The operator, let's call her Sally, proceeds to tell me that my sister and I would have to both go into a Sprint store to show our ID and that we cannot do this over the telephone. I told her that I was already informed this process could be done over the phone. Moments later, after what seemed like an eternity in cell-phone-dying-time, she mentioned that her supervisor said this could be done. Whew! We are now back in business.

I try to get us back on schedule and tell her that I was going to give her my sister's telephone number so that she could call my sister on three way to complete the transaction. Sally tells me that Sprint could not make a three way phone call. Huh??

(Pause break: I want you to absorb this last statement)

I became speechless. Is she serious? My cell phone company was not able to make a three way phone call in 2008? I think I died internally. I completely lost the little bit of patience I was holding on to.

I went off on Sally in the nicest way possible. "Ma'am, you are really beginning to upset me. You keep telling me things that Sprint cannot do but I KNOW this is possible. I have called in the past to verify this process and you are taking me 10 steps backwards. Apparently you are new to this position and I respect that, however, you piss me off when you say that Sprint cannot do this. Please, just say that YOU don't know how to do it. I could have hung up the phone and tried to get a more efficient operator since my phone battery was dying."

Sally: "Can you plug your phone into a car charger so that we may continue this conversation? I am new at this position and I never had to make a three way phone call or transfer a phone line. I do apologize."

Me: "Ma'am, if I had a car charger in my possession, this conversation would be non existent. I just want you to know that when Sprint calls me back for a survey about this conversation, they will be getting an ear full. You could have made my life so much easier just by saying "I don't know" instead of implying that it definitely cannot be done. Please take this as constructive criticism. Have a nice night."

Phone dies.

Wine Me Up

Last October, I started a new hustle as an Independent Wine Consultant with The Traveling Vineyard.

I found this opportunity to be unique and rewarding as I bring 5 bottles of wine (from all over the world) to a host's home. Each host is asked to invite 10-15 people for the wine tasting. As a consultant, I educate the guest on how to taste wine. (Sight, Swirl, Smell, Sip, Savor, Spit/Swallow). I do not consider myself a wine connoisseur in the least, however, I am a wine enthusiast! I enjoy tasting new wines. It is even more rewarding teaching others about food pairings and "legs".

Our top rated wines are from vineyards throughout the world, and by hosting your own party you can enjoy traveling to these vineyards from the comforts of your home! I bring vineyards into your home from the premier wine producing regions including Napa Valley, Bordeaux, and Tuscany. At the Traveling Vineyard, we believe wine should be purchased by taste not by label and reputation. We offer only the best price/value to our customers and guests. The Traveling Vineyard home wine tasting party is becoming the most popular home party available.

Walking away from one of my shows is guaranteed to be enlightening for everyone from the novice to the expert. Have I sparked an interest in you? Would you like to host a wine tasting in your home?? Ask five of your wine loving friends if they will have a wine tasting party. You will love this opportunity, and so will they!

The Traveling Vineyard

My 10 Year Class Reunion

I can hardly believe it!! It is time for my 10 year class reunion. Reuniting with my old classmates was such a blast! Our class president, Brooke, did an outstanding job of organizing the event. I tried to do as much as I could being 300 miles away but at times I still didn't feel very productive. Nonetheless, we had a decent

number of participants. Initially, I was worried about my "single" status. I felt as if I would be questioned to no end about the fact that I wasn't married and didn't have any kids. It just seemed as if I was way behind the curve. As time went on, I cared less about myself and more about reconnecting with those I hadn't seen or heard from since 1998.

To my surprise, a vast majority of my classmates that were married didn't bring their significant other. They wanted to have a good time and not have to worry about entertaining. As a single woman, I definitely understand that logic. I always have to weigh whether to bring a date to a wedding or a house party, because I like to be in the "mix" of things and don't want to have to stress over my date having a great time with my friends.

Overall, I had a GREAT time!! To see more pictures, visit our class website Berkeley High School Class of 1998

Michelle Villeponteux Driggers and myself
above: Chris Dixon and I

Skydiving!!

Believe it or not...I did it! I jumped out of a perfectly good airplane. Why?? Because I needed to have some excitement for my 28th birthday! In addition, it was an item on my bucket list. I have no idea how I am going to top this for my 30th, but plans are in motion.

I have no regrets on this jump. As you can see from the video, I appeared to be carefree. It was scary initially, when I had to sign all these documents stating that if I die, my family could not sue the company, Skydive Orange...even if the death was their fault. Nonetheless, I still found myself initialing and signing my life away as if I was purchasing a home.

Skydiving is fun, but it is considered an extreme sport. That said, I still think it is an experience and adventure that YOU should give a try!

The 5-year plan...Making God Laugh

I serve an awesome God...and my, does he have a sense of humor. As I self reflect, I really think my life is a joke to God. Let me explain...

I have always had a plan. I could spit out my five year plan to anyone at anytime. Now, don't get me wrong-My five year plan changes often and quite often, but there is always a plan and method of execution. Lately, I have been so discombobulated about my life. I don't know if I am coming or going. I am no longer happy. I am satisfied but not fulfilled. Understand? This concerns all aspects of my life (career, men, friends, location). I question basically everything except my faith in God. However, I am at a point where I do not have a plan. This is driving me, and my close friends, insane.

My friends get frustrated at me when I am venting because I seem flaky with my goals in life. They are correct. I am flaky. I am unsure. I am impatient. I am not questioning God, but I do wonder what I am supposed to be taking away from this experience that I have never been faced with.

Today, it hit me. I heard a quote that explained it all so clearly to me "If you want to make God laugh, make plans." That's it! At some point, I was thinking or acting as if I had control over my life. I had plans and a timeline that I always stuck with.

I believe God is trying to remind me to put all my faith and trust in him. My timeline is dependent upon HIM. And even though His plans may not come when I want them, He is ALWAYS on time!

20 Questions in 30 Days

Yes, I ask lots of questions. If you know me, you know this. So when you are telling me about a new relationship that you are in, please be prepared to know the following answers about your significant other. I believe within the first month of your relationship, these are the questions that matter the most! Feel free to post other questions that I may have overlooked...

In no particular order-
1. What are your parent's name?
2. Do you have any siblings? Are you the oldest/youngest?
3. What are you looking for in this relationship?
4. Where are you from?
5. Do you want any kids in the future? Do you currently have any kids that you know about? How many?
6. Have you ever been married? Divorced? Engaged?
7. Did you attend college? What was your major? Member of a fraternity?
8. Where do you work?
9. Do you attend church? Where? How often?
10. Are you currently dating anyone else?
11. Is there someone out there who thinks you are their boyfriend?
12. How long has your longest relationship been?
13. When was the last time you cried?
14. What are your pet peeves?
15. Do you exercise?
16. Are your parents still married? How long?
17. Do you like to drive? Do you enjoy road trips?
18. When was the last time you have been tested for HIV/AIDS?
19. Have you ever cheated? Have you ever been cheated on?
20. What are your goals? (Spiritually, Physically, Career, etc.)

Lastly, In the case of Tiffany T...maybe you should also ask their last name. LOL

Please print this list and have it near the telephone to be accessible in your next telephone conversation with you new beau.

Why Am I Single?

Since we all seem to be on this poetic justic tip, I decided to let my lyricist lounge flow as I discuss how I feel on the topic I hear quite often..."Why are you single?"
This is for all my homies. I know you can relate.

Why Am I Single?
Because your breath stinks
Because you are always wearing pink
Because you have 5 kids
Because I don’t want offsprings that are hybrids
Because you are too short
Because in public you fart
Because you live life as a heathen
(It’s not called borrowing—it’s stealing)
Why Am I Single?
Because you don’t open my doors
Because you can't bust a move on the dance floor
Because you are a mama’s boy
(And seeing your mama deflates my joy)
Because your are a horny toad
And you never can remember to flush the commode
Because you are lame
And can never seem to remember my name
Why Am I Single?
Because you are always screaming broke
And that thing you ride around in is a pure joke
Because you never graduated high school
Because sagging your jeans is no longer cool
Because your idea of a vacation is taking me to the Poconos
Because you have six toes
Because you are afraid of my 3lb dog
Because you are as dumb as door knob.
And you ask… Why Am I Single?

Myspace Sucks!!

[This post was originally posted on Myspace.]

Sorry, Tom. I hope you don’t delete my post but I am taking my first amendment right to blog about how much I hate your website.

First, Myspace is totally overrated. This networking thing has gotten out of hand when relationships are compromised because of actions taken on Myspace. I have a friend who is constantly in disagreements with her boyfriend because of comments that other females are posting on his page. Now, this could bring up other concerns such as one’s insecurity or lack of trust, but I just think that this wouldn’t have been a factor if Myspace didn’t exist.

Second, why are people so serious about this Top Friends thing? Are you serious? I have to prove how much you mean to me by listing you in my Top Friends section. Again, Tom, this is a way to isolate and form barriers within one’s circle of friends. If you are popular and you have more than 36 close friends, you are screwed and are bound to hear the question, "Why am I not in your top friends?"

Third, at what age is too old to be on Myspace? Personally, I think once you are 30 years old, you need to enroll in a 12-step program and remove yourself from this nonsense, that we are addicted to. I once thought Myspace was more attractive to the high school/teenage audience and hence I was very hesitant to join. It’s so interesting to me, however, that studies have shown that the average age of Myspace users are 35-49 years old. Stop playing! In this day in age, that means that someone’s Grandparent is on Myspace! (SCREAM!!) So now my grandmother is going to shrug me off if I don’t include her in my Top Friends?
Myspace can be blamed for a lot of the confusion this world is facing. I just don’t find it a coincidence that Myspace and the war in Iraq both were conceived at the same time. Get my drift!! Myspace is the cause of the war in Iraq.
I rest my case.

P.S. Don’t ask why I am still logging in everyday. I haven’t turned 30 yet. LOL

Quit Worrying and Start Trusting

"After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you" 1 Peter 5:10

Thank you to all who have noticed my status change and asked why am I stressed.

In short, I am stressed because I lapsed and forgot that faith and worry can’t abide in the same place. I became hesitant to cast all my worries upon God and start trusting him to handle "it".

My crisis began when I realized that everything I thought I knew and was sure of was now debatable. I took pride in reveling on the fact that I could give you my five year plan and the steps I was taking to achieve it with regards to all aspects of my life. However, today, I stand with no plan of action. The only thing I am sure of at this point, I WILL stop worrying and start trusting in Him.

I can already see the eyes rolling from a few of you who swear that I am overreacting. But dang it, it’s my party and I’ll cry and whine if I want to! I want my carefree days back when the most important decision I had to make was which party I was attending on the weekend. The good ol’ days!! Whereas today I face RESPONSIBILITIES!!!

"To whom much is given, much is required"….I know. I know. I know. But I did not sign up for all of this! Nonetheless, I have had to console and humble myself before God. My faith has taught me that when the time comes, God will restore and settle us. And of course, when I am faced with so many life altering decisions (as I feel now) I feel unsettled.

I promise, that now that I have vented I will digress about my problems and start focusing on the big picture. I vow to quit worrying and start trusting in Him.


Source:
1 Peter 5:6-11 (Thanks, Latoya)
Galatians 6:9 (Thanks, Avery)
Luke 12:48