Is this the week of a full moon? I am not sure that the last week has really been weird. I think that is the only word that is appropriate. In the last seven days, I have had four requests asking for financial assistance.
The first text message was for help with a down payment for a car. She stated that she would pay me back next week when she got paid. Later, I found out that she was purchased an Acura TSX.
I have been burned by this statement before so I hold no truth to this. I responded with a very polite no.
The next day, the second request came as a text message and this friend asked to borrow (an undisclosed amount) money since she just moved back to the area from North Carolina and funds were night. As before, I didn’t respond because I have a hard core rule about asking for money via text. See Texting Etiquette. However, this situation disturbed me slightly because I offered HER a FREE place to reside while she got on her feet and she denied me because she said I lived too far. I get it..ok. But I offered you what I could AFFORD at the time--stability (a roof over your head, running water, and electricity) not financial assistance.
Two days later, I receive a text message from a family relative in South Carolina asking to borrow $50 until next week (See a pattern?). Staying true to my rule I didn’t respond, but I wondered 1) Was I supposed to wire her this money? 2) When she paid me back, was she going to include the wire charge? I am confident that I know the answer to these questions.
Immediately, I began to pray. I wondered what type of test/challenge was God preparing me for. If you read my blog regularly, you understand that I am a cheap skate and very frugal with my money. I am thankful for what I have but I strive to be wise in my financial decisions. Apparently, those on the outside take this as a front and do not believe that I am financially strapped when I say that I am.
In the past, I often commented that no one ever asked me for money. I assumed that meant that everyone understood I was in this struggle with them and did not have much disposable income. Sheesh! That theory went right out the door with spandex jeans.
So if you are keeping up, you realize that I only mentioned three so far. My fourth, and I pray my last, encounter came from an old colleague of mine. She actually CALLED! I don’t speak to her often so when she called my house phone, cell phone, house phone, and cell phone (in that order) , I knew that she wanted SOMETHING. A woman’s intuition is seldom wrong. She proceeded to give me a sob story about her cable and then closed with “So can I borrow $178 until...(you fill in the blank)?”. Yep, that’s right, NEXT WEEK!!!
All I could do at this point was chuckle. I explained to her that I wasn’t laughing at her struggle but I was really beginning to believe that this was my test. God, why me? Seriously, why?
I don’t wish to turn my friends down when they are in need, but money for a cable bill is just taking our friendship for granted. Do you know how long I went without cable in my life?? Cable is NOT a necessity. EVER!
You must agree, last week I entered the Twilight Zone...
1 comment:
Right on to you for sticking to your guns. So many of us cave to our family and friends because we worry about they will think of us. I've only had to say no a few times, but the relationships are strained afterwards. Mostly by me. I tend to shy away from folks who randomly hit me up for non-necessities as you mention. I still love them and am not completely absent but I keep my distance.
I consider myself blessed because I have a job and enough money to cover my necessities and even some wants. But I am by no means ballin'! And even if I were, does that mean I should subsidize someone else's lifestyle? A lifestyle that they obviously can not afford. I don't think so. I pray that I have the right mindset around this. Thanks for sharing your story! And I hope that was your fourth and final call! :-)
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