Since we all seem to be on this poetic justic tip, I decided to let my lyricist lounge flow as I discuss how I feel on the topic I hear quite often..."Why are you single?"
This is for all my homies. I know you can relate.
Why Am I Single?
Because your breath stinks
Because you are always wearing pink
Because you have 5 kids
Because I don’t want offsprings that are hybrids
Because you are too short
Because in public you fart
Because you live life as a heathen
(It’s not called borrowing—it’s stealing)
Why Am I Single?
Because you don’t open my doors
Because you can't bust a move on the dance floor
Because you are a mama’s boy
(And seeing your mama deflates my joy)
Because your are a horny toad
And you never can remember to flush the commode
Because you are lame
And can never seem to remember my name
Why Am I Single?
Because you are always screaming broke
And that thing you ride around in is a pure joke
Because you never graduated high school
Because sagging your jeans is no longer cool
Because your idea of a vacation is taking me to the Poconos
Because you have six toes
Because you are afraid of my 3lb dog
Because you are as dumb as door knob.
And you ask… Why Am I Single?
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Myspace Sucks!!
[This post was originally posted on Myspace.]
Sorry, Tom. I hope you don’t delete my post but I am taking my first amendment right to blog about how much I hate your website.
First, Myspace is totally overrated. This networking thing has gotten out of hand when relationships are compromised because of actions taken on Myspace. I have a friend who is constantly in disagreements with her boyfriend because of comments that other females are posting on his page. Now, this could bring up other concerns such as one’s insecurity or lack of trust, but I just think that this wouldn’t have been a factor if Myspace didn’t exist.
Second, why are people so serious about this Top Friends thing? Are you serious? I have to prove how much you mean to me by listing you in my Top Friends section. Again, Tom, this is a way to isolate and form barriers within one’s circle of friends. If you are popular and you have more than 36 close friends, you are screwed and are bound to hear the question, "Why am I not in your top friends?"
Third, at what age is too old to be on Myspace? Personally, I think once you are 30 years old, you need to enroll in a 12-step program and remove yourself from this nonsense, that we are addicted to. I once thought Myspace was more attractive to the high school/teenage audience and hence I was very hesitant to join. It’s so interesting to me, however, that studies have shown that the average age of Myspace users are 35-49 years old. Stop playing! In this day in age, that means that someone’s Grandparent is on Myspace! (SCREAM!!) So now my grandmother is going to shrug me off if I don’t include her in my Top Friends?
Myspace can be blamed for a lot of the confusion this world is facing. I just don’t find it a coincidence that Myspace and the war in Iraq both were conceived at the same time. Get my drift!! Myspace is the cause of the war in Iraq.
I rest my case.
P.S. Don’t ask why I am still logging in everyday. I haven’t turned 30 yet. LOL
Sorry, Tom. I hope you don’t delete my post but I am taking my first amendment right to blog about how much I hate your website.
First, Myspace is totally overrated. This networking thing has gotten out of hand when relationships are compromised because of actions taken on Myspace. I have a friend who is constantly in disagreements with her boyfriend because of comments that other females are posting on his page. Now, this could bring up other concerns such as one’s insecurity or lack of trust, but I just think that this wouldn’t have been a factor if Myspace didn’t exist.
Second, why are people so serious about this Top Friends thing? Are you serious? I have to prove how much you mean to me by listing you in my Top Friends section. Again, Tom, this is a way to isolate and form barriers within one’s circle of friends. If you are popular and you have more than 36 close friends, you are screwed and are bound to hear the question, "Why am I not in your top friends?"
Third, at what age is too old to be on Myspace? Personally, I think once you are 30 years old, you need to enroll in a 12-step program and remove yourself from this nonsense, that we are addicted to. I once thought Myspace was more attractive to the high school/teenage audience and hence I was very hesitant to join. It’s so interesting to me, however, that studies have shown that the average age of Myspace users are 35-49 years old. Stop playing! In this day in age, that means that someone’s Grandparent is on Myspace! (SCREAM!!) So now my grandmother is going to shrug me off if I don’t include her in my Top Friends?
Myspace can be blamed for a lot of the confusion this world is facing. I just don’t find it a coincidence that Myspace and the war in Iraq both were conceived at the same time. Get my drift!! Myspace is the cause of the war in Iraq.
I rest my case.
P.S. Don’t ask why I am still logging in everyday. I haven’t turned 30 yet. LOL
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Quit Worrying and Start Trusting
"After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you" 1 Peter 5:10
Thank you to all who have noticed my status change and asked why am I stressed.
In short, I am stressed because I lapsed and forgot that faith and worry can’t abide in the same place. I became hesitant to cast all my worries upon God and start trusting him to handle "it".
My crisis began when I realized that everything I thought I knew and was sure of was now debatable. I took pride in reveling on the fact that I could give you my five year plan and the steps I was taking to achieve it with regards to all aspects of my life. However, today, I stand with no plan of action. The only thing I am sure of at this point, I WILL stop worrying and start trusting in Him.
I can already see the eyes rolling from a few of you who swear that I am overreacting. But dang it, it’s my party and I’ll cry and whine if I want to! I want my carefree days back when the most important decision I had to make was which party I was attending on the weekend. The good ol’ days!! Whereas today I face RESPONSIBILITIES!!!
"To whom much is given, much is required"….I know. I know. I know. But I did not sign up for all of this! Nonetheless, I have had to console and humble myself before God. My faith has taught me that when the time comes, God will restore and settle us. And of course, when I am faced with so many life altering decisions (as I feel now) I feel unsettled.
I promise, that now that I have vented I will digress about my problems and start focusing on the big picture. I vow to quit worrying and start trusting in Him.
Source:
1 Peter 5:6-11 (Thanks, Latoya)
Galatians 6:9 (Thanks, Avery)
Luke 12:48
Thank you to all who have noticed my status change and asked why am I stressed.
In short, I am stressed because I lapsed and forgot that faith and worry can’t abide in the same place. I became hesitant to cast all my worries upon God and start trusting him to handle "it".
My crisis began when I realized that everything I thought I knew and was sure of was now debatable. I took pride in reveling on the fact that I could give you my five year plan and the steps I was taking to achieve it with regards to all aspects of my life. However, today, I stand with no plan of action. The only thing I am sure of at this point, I WILL stop worrying and start trusting in Him.
I can already see the eyes rolling from a few of you who swear that I am overreacting. But dang it, it’s my party and I’ll cry and whine if I want to! I want my carefree days back when the most important decision I had to make was which party I was attending on the weekend. The good ol’ days!! Whereas today I face RESPONSIBILITIES!!!
"To whom much is given, much is required"….I know. I know. I know. But I did not sign up for all of this! Nonetheless, I have had to console and humble myself before God. My faith has taught me that when the time comes, God will restore and settle us. And of course, when I am faced with so many life altering decisions (as I feel now) I feel unsettled.
I promise, that now that I have vented I will digress about my problems and start focusing on the big picture. I vow to quit worrying and start trusting in Him.
Source:
1 Peter 5:6-11 (Thanks, Latoya)
Galatians 6:9 (Thanks, Avery)
Luke 12:48
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