How far can you stretch $10?

I finally got around to filing my taxes!! Woo-hoo! To my surprise, I was refuded a grand total of $10. Seriously. I am happy that I do not owe, however, I feel like slapping someone for sending me a $10 check. How does this happen? I presently owe Federal $1000 and I get a refund from State for $1010. For the remainder of 2010, I need to start a business, obtain a husband, or pop out a few kids. In the meantime, I am looking for creative ways on spending this refund check since purchasing a Mac computer is now officially out the door. So far, I have come up with:

1. A hair cut at Hair Cuttery
2. 3 gallons of gas (Premium)
3. Two Footlong subs from Subway
4. Two value meals from McDonalds
5. A movie ticket (matinee)
6. 10 Redbox movie rentals
7. A car wash
8. a new-release CD
9. wine from the grocery store
10. a pay-per-view movie in a hotel room

Figured I would stop at 10 since this seems to by my lucky number. Hey, maybe I should buy 10 scratch-off lottery tickets.

Why Am I Single?

Since we all seem to be on this poetic justic tip, I decided to let my lyricist lounge flow as I discuss how I feel on the topic I hear quite often..."Why are you single?"
This is for all my homies. I know you can relate.

Why Am I Single?
Because your breath stinks
Because you are always wearing pink
Because you have 5 kids
Because I don’t want offsprings that are hybrids
Because you are too short
Because in public you fart
Because you live life as a heathen
(It’s not called borrowing—it’s stealing)
Why Am I Single?
Because you don’t open my doors
Because you can't bust a move on the dance floor
Because you are a mama’s boy
(And seeing your mama deflates my joy)
Because your are a horny toad
And you never can remember to flush the commode
Because you are lame
And can never seem to remember my name
Why Am I Single?
Because you are always screaming broke
And that thing you ride around in is a pure joke
Because you never graduated high school
Because sagging your jeans is no longer cool
Because your idea of a vacation is taking me to the Poconos
Because you have six toes
Because you are afraid of my 3lb dog
Because you are as dumb as door knob.
And you ask… Why Am I Single?