Mr. Right

I received this email last Summer. I wanted to post it to receive your comments. When I forwarded the email, I received some very interesting replies...both positive and negative. Please share your thoughts.

"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot; who calls you back

when you hang up on him; who will lie under the stars and listen to

your heartbeat; or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for

the boy who kisses your forehead; who wants to show you off to the

world when you are in sweats; who holds your hand in front of his

friends; who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on; One who

is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is

to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, "that's

her"....(author unknown/ )

Why Am I Single?

Since we all seem to be on this poetic justic tip, I decided to let my lyricist lounge flow as I discuss how I feel on the topic I hear quite often..."Why are you single?"
This is for all my homies. I know you can relate.

Why Am I Single?
Because your breath stinks
Because you are always wearing pink
Because you have 5 kids
Because I don’t want offsprings that are hybrids
Because you are too short
Because in public you fart
Because you live life as a heathen
(It’s not called borrowing—it’s stealing)
Why Am I Single?
Because you don’t open my doors
Because you can't bust a move on the dance floor
Because you are a mama’s boy
(And seeing your mama deflates my joy)
Because your are a horny toad
And you never can remember to flush the commode
Because you are lame
And can never seem to remember my name
Why Am I Single?
Because you are always screaming broke
And that thing you ride around in is a pure joke
Because you never graduated high school
Because sagging your jeans is no longer cool
Because your idea of a vacation is taking me to the Poconos
Because you have six toes
Because you are afraid of my 3lb dog
Because you are as dumb as door knob.
And you ask… Why Am I Single?